How to Properly Order Names on Your Save the Date
Ordering names on your save the date cards may seem simple, but it’s an essential detail that sets the tone for your wedding invitation suite. Getting the order right not only shows respect and consideration to those being invited, but it also reflects the style and formality of your wedding. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll walk you through how to properly order names on your save the date, ensuring your wedding planning process is smooth and polished.
Why Name Order on Save the Dates Matters
When it comes to wedding stationery, every detail counts. Your save the date is often the first glimpse your guests will have into your wedding aesthetic and style, making it important that it is thoughtfully designed. Properly ordering names demonstrates clarity, consideration, and tradition—all important factors in wedding etiquette.
By following etiquette and best practices for name placement, you make sure your guests feel honored and welcomed. Additionally, proper name ordering helps identify guests clearly, avoiding confusion and ensuring invitations reach the intended recipients without error.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Forgetting to include plus-ones or proper guest names, leading to embarrassment or confusion
- Listing names inconsistently, which can be perceived as disrespectful or unthoughtful
- Ignoring traditional etiquette without a clear reason
- Using casual or vague naming that doesn’t match the formality of your wedding
General Rules for Ordering Names on Save the Dates
While there’s some room for personalization, following traditional etiquette helps avoid misunderstandings. These rules mostly focus on how to prioritize names between couples, families, and individuals.
1. Order by Couple or Household
Typically, save the dates are addressed to couples or households. When ordering names:
- For married couples, list the wife’s full name first, followed by the husband’s full name (e.g., Jane Smith & John Smith)
- For unmarried couples living together, list the woman’s name first
- If including children living at home, they are usually listed after the parents’ names, either on the same line or on a second line (e.g., Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Family or Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Jane and John Jr.)
- For roommates or friends sharing a household, list names side by side, separated by commas
2. Alphabetical Order for Multiple Guests
If you are sending a save the date to multiple guests who are not couples (e.g., group of friends), arranging names alphabetically by last name is recommended for clarity and fairness.
3. Formality Reflects the Wedding Style
The formality of the names on your save the date should match your wedding style. For traditional formal weddings, using full names with formal titles (Mr., Mrs., Dr., etc.) is appropriate. For informal or casual weddings, first names or nicknames can be acceptable.
Special Cases for Ordering Names on Save the Dates
Gay and Lesbian Couples
The same traditional etiquette applies to same-sex couples: woman’s name first if one partner identifies as female, otherwise alphabetical order is common. Ultimately, the couple should choose the order that feels most natural and representative for them.
Distant Relatives and Close Friends
For guests who are distant relatives or close friends invited individually, clearly list their names. If multiple individuals share a last name but are not in the same household, list their names individually with their full names to avoid confusion.
Divorced or Separated Parents
If divorced or separated parents are receiving a save the date, it’s best to send separate cards addressed with the appropriate parent(s) and children associated with that household.
How to List Names on Save the Date Cards
Format Examples
- Traditional Married Couple:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith - Married Couple with Different Last Names:
Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe - Unmarried Couple Living Together:
Jane Smith and John Doe - Family with Children:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Jane, John Jr., and Emily Smith - Roommates or Unrelated Guests:
Jane Smith, John Doe, Emily Davis - Same-Sex Couple:
Jane Smith and Emily Davis
or
Smith and Davis Families
Tips on Font and Design to Match Name Order
The visual presentation of your save the date names can make a strong impression. Use a legible, elegant font that matches the tone of your wedding. Names can be bolded or highlighted to stand out. Keep spacing balanced and aligned to make reading names clear and easy.
Common Questions About Save the Date Name Order
Q: Should we include guests’ titles (Mr., Mrs., Dr.) on save the dates?
A: Including titles depends on the formality of your wedding. For formal weddings, titles are appropriate. For casual weddings, first and last names alone are sufficient.
Q: How do we handle names for plus-ones?
A: If a guest is allowed to bring a plus-one, you can either list the guest’s name with “and Guest” or, if you know the plus-one’s name, include it directly on the card.
Q: Can we use nicknames or shortened names?
A: This depends on your wedding tone. For casual weddings, nicknames are fine. For formal weddings, full legal names are usually preferred.
Q: How do we handle couples with different last names?
A: List the woman’s name first by tradition, or list names alphabetically if that works better for your situation. Include full names for clarity.
Q: Should children’s names be included on save the dates?
A: Typically, yes, if children are invited. They can be included on the card following the parents’ names or on a second line.
Best Practices for Ordering Names on Your Save the Date
- Be Consistent: Use the same naming format throughout your entire invitation suite from save the date to invitations.
- Consult Your Wedding Style: Align name order and formality with your wedding theme for a cohesive look.
- Confirm Guest Names and Spellings: Double-check guest names to avoid errors that can offend or confuse.
- Consider Cultural Traditions: If your families have distinct cultural customs regarding naming, try to respectfully incorporate them.
- Work with Your Stationer: Professional stationers are great resources for etiquette advice and formatting assistance.
Conclusion
Ordering names appropriately on your save the date cards is a crucial part of wedding planning etiquette. It helps convey respect to your guests, enhances the clarity of your invitation process, and supports a seamless event experience from the very beginning. Whether following traditional rules or customizing to fit your unique relationship and wedding style, putting thought into name order will provide your guests with an inviting and elegant preview of your special day.
